Guest Post by Rev. John Carosiello, a pastor who wants to pray for you!
Deuteronomy 31:6
Being a Pastor can be tough…REALLY tough.
Picture it! The church seems to be thriving; the staff is unified with a shared mission and vision; things seem to be going great! Then, your phone rings. The call is from a border-line irate church member letting you know that the worship music was way too loud this past Sunday, and they are tired of having to deal with it, so they are going to go elsewhere. This is not the first time you’ve received a call like this, and you know that it will not be the last. The irony is that you had another member come up to you after service and complain that the worship was too quiet. Yep, being a pastor can be tough!
Most church members have little to no knowledge about what it’s like to be a pastor, a pastor’s spouse, or a pastor’s kid – instead, they usually romanticize the private life of a pastor.
The average church member may imagine you go home on Sunday, sit around the dinner table, say grace, and then discuss deep theological truths as a family over lunch. What they do not know is that your youngest son was just diagnosed with autism while your oldest son is failing most of his classes in Middle School. They do not know that your spouse just had to go on anti-depressants again because of how alone and hopeless they have been feeling lately. They do not see you sitting two blocks away from the church in your car hours before the service on a Sunday morning, having it out with God, wondering if it’s all even worth it.
Is it any wonder that most pastors quit the ministry within their first five years?[1] Should it surprise us to see that the suicide rate is so high among clergy?[2]
Fortunately, we are not alone, at least we don’t have to be. There are pastors all over the world who are experiencing the same things we are, who are feeling the same things we are, who are struggling with the same things we are, so why don’t we reach out? Why do we choose to be alone together instead of together?
Ministry tends to teach us that vulnerability is a dangerous thing, but what if we opened up to other pastors who are just as much in need of encouragement as we are ourselves? Need a pastor friend to love you and pray for your family? Please e-mail me: JohnC@citg.org I would like to encourage you, not judge you…lift you up, not tear you down…empathize with you and maybe even share some of my struggles.
Being a pastor can be incredibly lonely, and none of us were made to go it alone, and the good news is: We are Not Alone! I look forward to hearing from you!
[1] Dave Earley and Ben Gutiérrez, Ministry Is (Nashville: B & H Publishing Group, 2014).
[2] Shauna H. Springer, “Suicide Risk Among Pastors and Clergy Members,” Psychology Today, 2018, , accessed February 06, 2019, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/free-range-psychology/201808/suicide-risk-among-pastors-and-clergy-members.
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