What Is Your Calling?

by Dr. David Galloway

I had a conversation this past weekend with a friend who is struggling with his sense of purpose in life, or as he frames it, his “call”.

I have heard it said that your purpose in life is to find your purpose in life. A bit circular but nonetheless is at the heart of the matter.

What is your “calling”? 

When I was growing up, a “calling” was narrowed in my South of God community to refer to being called by God to preach. That was very specific. However, it did not take me long to begin to expand my own view of that to refer to serving as a physician, a teacher, a public servant…even a lawyer (said to jab my good friends who clearly experienced such a call). I think my son has a calling to be a musician, a songwriter…sometimes a calling is tough work.

What is it that you think you were put here for? Do you think of your life, your vocation, as a calling?

I have worked with a bunch of clergy over my lifetime, helping them to discern a sense of call, or being liberated from such folly. Has God called you into the ministry? The pastor that baptised me sixty-three years ago advised me that if you can do anything BUT go into ministry, do that!

On the other hand, I heard the quip that plowing in the hot Georgia sun” “called” many a man, or woman, into the ministry, although some of the characters I have run across in congregations could give a hell-hot sun a run for its money.

I actually was forced, “invited” to go through a discernment process in the Episcopal Diocese of Atlanta to determine if I was “called” to be a priest in the Episcopal Church. The fancy name for the nine-month process was the Vocational Testing Process, or as it came to be known as the VTP. At the time, there were a number of folks who wanted to become priests with a limited number of slots to be filled. To say that it was competitive is an understatement.

VTP was a well-designed process which tested how you approached authority issues, how you dealt with the freedom to create, as well as how you feel about being a “sacramental” person, with all the projections that it entailed.

Almost forty years later, having worked with many aspiring priests and ministers, I have come up with my own format for discernment. These days, post-Covid, I have had many clergy asking if they are still feeling a sense of call, or should they do something else. I work almost daily with young clergy who are leaning into their first parish with a predictable question arising, “Is this the right job for me? Am I in the right place?”. Others are late in their career and wondering if it might be the right time to stop, or maybe do something else.

On the other hand, I have worked with lay people who felt “out of place” in their current work, prompting them to wonder to themselves, am I missing something? Several have figured out new ways to do the vocation that they committed to years ago, while some have found the courage to leave the known path and set out for something new, something unknown on their horizon. And, I have worked with CEOs of major organizations who are wondering if there is more to life than their salaries and benefits. This is existential stuff, the stuff of the soul, and deserves our best attention and self-awareness if we are truly serious about our calling, our purpose.

My formula for discernment may seem a bit simple, non-philosophical. I would call it pragmatic, and I like that. It aligns with my Franciscan spirituality which focuses more on orthopraxy than orthodoxy, that is, it is about what we do with our lives, in the living of them, as opposed to thinking the right things and mouthing conventional statements.

So my first question is highly pragmatic: Does the work that you are doing bear fruit? 

In the business world, such things have metrics that measure one’s productivity. Are you getting the job done? Are you producing results? Can you honestly point to signs of success that are associated with your work? In spiritual work, or less easily measured work, this question may take some probing and some assessment, perhaps using a 360 style of finding out how others that you work with assess your work. This can be tricky, but has the possibility of yielding great breakthroughs. It requires radical honesty with oneself, and a humility that is rare.

Is your work, your life, producing fruit?

The second question is perhaps my favorite, the one that I would push myself on relentlessly. Is there a “fit” between my particular and peculiar constellation of my gifts and the particular and peculiar needs of this group (congregation, business, school, organization) at this particular and peculiar time? All three dimensions must be aligned for it to be the “right”.

Every person, every one of us has certain strengths and gifts. The unique combination of gifts is not linear, or perfectly balanced. That is why I employ the word “constellation” implying a star-swirling, mystical fit that is dynamic, ever-changing, adjusting. And, we each come with liabilities, weaknesses that we have picked up along the way that will affect our work and leadership. I am convinced by Barry Johnson that we have specific polarities that are in play within our psyches that make us “just right” (Goldilocks) for some jobs, places, and times, while some combinations of polarities render us dead in the water. Discernment and self-awareness have to be in play and remain engaged if one is to find that Goldilocks “fit”.

As I indicated, this “fit” is with a unique organization with its own history and developmental needs. Specific times in the life of an organization may call out for some particular leadership skills and styles. This need may change as the organization develops, or is faced with historical circumstances that must be addressed. This is truly a dynamic process. An organization can outgrow what once was a tight “fit”, and calls for one to move on, or adapt.

The person, the organization, and the times form the matrix out of which a “fit” may emerge, or not. This takes self-awareness as well as the emotional intelligence (EQ) to “read” the culture that one is hoping to function healthily within. And, as I said, it is a moving target.

Is there a “fit” between your particular and peculiar constellation of gifts and the needs of the community?

Finally, this is the third question that often is relegated to the back burner, or ignored completely if one is in a martyrdom mode, which is often true with long-suffering clergy. Does your work bring you joy? 

I’m not talking about happiness in Hallmark Card terms. Rather, is there a deep sense of satisfaction as you are doing your work, feeling as if your very being is aligned with a force that is bigger than you?

I often find myself unconsciously smiling after having finished a session with one of my people, feeling as if I not only contributed my time and energy to them as a person, but also was participating in a process that was beyond me. A sense of joy is pervasive, though it does not rid me of the tedium of scheduling, administrative work, and other parts of my work. But there is no question that my work is bringing me joy, which prompts me to think that I may be doing something right for me. Hello, Goldilocks!

How is this for you in your work, your endeavor? Is there a deep sense of joy, of satisfaction that fills your soul? Does this just happen to be a “dry season” in your career? Has joy been there in the past? What has changed? Are you needing to make a change, altering the way that you are going about your work? Or, is there a deeper change that is calling to you?

Does your work bring you a deep sense of joy?

So there it is, my offering of three markers for a calling. I encourage you to think about it. Reflect on it. Journal about it. Talk to friends and associates who have been a part of your trajectory to see what they have observed in you in the past, and how it is for you in this Present Moment.

Finally, I would invite you to PLAY with this sense of vocation, exploring possibilities, tightening up loose ends that you have not paid attention to in a while, imaging a “next chapter” in your life story, in your calling. Seriously playful, and playfully serious, face and engage the pregnant question, almost bursting with new life: “What is your calling?”.